I would crack a joke about /v/, but

Gamers are old and depressed according to Reuters.

A recent survey of 552 respondents showed 45% of those surveyed play the vidya, 56% were male, "most" had a high BMI and were around 35 years old.

Most female gamers were described as "depressed" and in poorer health than non-gamers.

Clearly my personal sphere of gaming friends are not representative of everyone, but also bear in mind that 552 people is not really a significant portion of the population - let alone population of people playing video games. Also keep in mind these are just the people who took the time to respond to the survey. While I'm sure 35, fat and older than your stereotypical Bro who plays Madden and chugs PBR is not the farthest stretch for "average gamer" (then again, enough kids who would not be able to fill out the survey travel with DSes and PSPs [or play Halo rotf lol] would probably skew the ages quite a bit in favor of the younger crowd, if included), the data sample isn't representative enough to say 'this is a guy who plays games.'

Also Batman is being heralded as "Game of the Year." Which isn't saying much as it's in competition with inFamous and maybe BlazBlue.

Cool Story of the Week: Pokemon Champion Crowned, His Parents Aren't Good At Video Games

11 year-old Jeremy Fan is the World Pokemon Champ, I'm assuming only through video game play (since the PWC is for both the game and tcg). The article Google News shot at me is available here. I didn't think that the article was all that good (half the time, it's about the kid's family... I want to know about his and his opponent's teams, about the event, about Nintendo, ABOUT THE KID WHO WON). I mean, you get that he can't play all that much. No, there's something else here I thought was a great resource:

"Humbly, unlike their offspring, neither Fan parent says they're any good at games. Jian Fan said when he was growing up in Fujian, China, people of his generation were too poor to have time for such things. And now, with full-time jobs in Silicon Valley, he and his wife are simply too busy."

LOL WUT. Thanks, Asian stereotype parents. Who thinks to include this stuff while reporting on a kid winning a World-spanning event. Like... he's the best at something... in the world... And we're talking about how his parents came from China and aren't good at video games.

Official "Cool Story" of the week.

All Time Lows, All Time Highs

I know my last few entries of "Nothing is happening and that's pretty much it so yeah" have been more than thrilling to my more than captive audience (of maybe two), but a google search for some good old fashioned video game news (you know, when I can't magically form ideas for entries on my lonesome) yields several low-tier titles, Tekken 6 (ok, not exactly the best example of "not low tier" gaming) and this.

That's when it hit me, "Mother of fuck," something I routinely say when I'm thinking to myself and need to have my mouth washed out with soap, "Video gaming is at its height. The economy is awful and we're celebrating a game based off of a half-decently rated parody of a campy summer blockbuster based off of a Hasbro toy line and 80's cartoon."

But then you have to take a step back for a second. The game is in 3-D. I don't think, short of the headache inducing VirtualBoy, that's ever been done before. And last time I checked, you could not make video games, let alone tie your shoes without using the bunny ear system (at least I know I can't); making games that can be played in 3-D? That's some kind of new-age wizardry that I can't even comprehend.

Then I thought about it even more... the Wii operates with 3-D controls. Yeah, you're playing on a 2-D realm based on a flat TV screen using some kind of avatar that sort of moves around in 3 dimensions but is still confined to 3-D. Then you have the new motion controls of Natal and whatever the PS3's equivalent of 3-D controls are (I can't be asked, as a video game news person, to keep up with this stuff). The screen pops out at you, but it's essentially no different than the 2-D imagery we're given through the simulated 3-D world in most modern gaming. Without physically controlling your game in that third dimension or operating in virtual reality, you're not really doing anything.

I'm currently trying to playtest for a Magic PTQ, so my ability to dig through mounds of dung are hampered a bit. If things don't pick up soon in the video game world, I'm going to start either jabbering endlessly about cool stuff that isn't timely or just start writing about other nerdy stuff that is. Also there'll be pictures. But no pictures for this post, I'm talking about G-Force. And that's terrible.

Ever Wonder What The Bottom of an Empty Con Idea Well Looks Like?

Otakon has come and gone. As has San Diego Comic Con, but let’s ignore that for a second because I was actually at Otakon and can report on it. You see, Otakon is usually the con of a given con season that restores my faith in the world of nerd culture: crazy costumes get busted out, people gather, new ideas abound. This year, not so much.

Also, sorry I haven't been around enough to make updates as frequently as I'd like. Preparing for Otakon takes preference and priority over writing about nothing.

You can usually gauge what the new “it thing” is from Otakon, at least in my experience. This Otakon seems to be the exception; didn’t see much of any new vidya related costuming (the same is generally true of Anime costumes and the like… hell, we didn’t even have the usual overabundance of Naruto, Bleach and Kingdom Hearts and the latter even has a new game coming out).

Since there isn’t a whole lot of exceptional stuff to promote in the world of gaming at this time (what else is new?), it’s easiest to just continue my trail of gloom and doom: THERE IS NO ORIGINAL CONTENT OUT THAT IS DRIVING MAJOR INTEREST. GAMING INDUSTRY, DO SOMETHING PLOX.

Maybe you guys noticed something else out there, maybe you have some zany super wacky awesome pics showing how I’m an idiot and blind and didn’t see the 600 BlazBlu costumes paraded around con or some awesome Final Fantasy group that shows where the fan interest is drawn to. I didn’t see much, though… and only a smattering of No More Heroes costumes (I was the only NMH2 Travis, gantstare.gif).

It’s all been done, a woo woo woo.

Video Games Live Brings Tracks to Concert Halls

The music of gaming has been listened to in and out of games, remixed, parodied, and used to create entirely original music.

Traditionally, though, when you think "Battle at the Base" from the Metal Gear Solid 3 soundtrack, your first thoughts probably aren't "CONCERT VENUE!"

Well, despite ignoring my attempts at an interview, I'm reporting that the concert series "Video Games Live" is bringing video games composers Tommy Tellarico and Jack Wall's creation of a concert of entirely orchestral video gaming music to stage in Virginia TONIGHT.

Popular series like Myst, Metal Gear Solid, Zelda, Mario and others will be represented through music, video, lasers and live gaming on-stage.

On the show's website, the tour continues through the US and Asia with stops in other locals around the world, as well as making an appearance at the San Diego Comic Con (so glad this is a timely story, ya herd)

Check it out if you're located near any of the venues, ticket prices vary by location (highest priced NYC tickets break $80 after surcharges and tax, while the lowest are around $40).

Oh, and it's not just no-games

According to analysts, video game sales aren't on the decline due to a lack of new "AWESOME CONTENT, PLEASE REPLICATE," but a combination of the lack of blockbuster titles and the game resale and rentals market.

Game makers aren't making as much money due to recycling of games through resale chains like GameStop and rental services such as GameFly (let's try and be more redundant between paragraphs, shall we?). So the next time you see that high-pitched voiced rabbit on TV or get a request to sign up for low introductory rates on GameFly, remember you're actually helping to kill the games industry.

That and stealing games.

That and game makers aren't making new good content (you know, doing their jobs).

Pac Man ate all my monies.

If you're like me and you don't have a gambling addiction, but the prospect of gaining money while purchasing nick-nacks bearing the visage of familiar characters, games and other niceties turns you right on, this post is for you.

Well, that and if you live in New Jersey.

The New Jersey State Lotto has introduced Pac Man scratch offs (apparently this has happened in Texas, too, as there's Kotaku article on it) celebrating the 30th anniversary of the lovable yellow pie-minus-a-slice.

I didn't win anything and the game is not as interesting as many other match-up games (but then is the preset "you win only if you get one of these two" game ever really that great?), but it was $2 and I could have had a return on my money or greater! Also, I found it while buying a slurpee at a 7-11, so I don't know what else you really want from me.

Don't buy it if you have a gambling problem because gambling more doesn't help resolve such issues!