All Time Lows, All Time Highs

I know my last few entries of "Nothing is happening and that's pretty much it so yeah" have been more than thrilling to my more than captive audience (of maybe two), but a google search for some good old fashioned video game news (you know, when I can't magically form ideas for entries on my lonesome) yields several low-tier titles, Tekken 6 (ok, not exactly the best example of "not low tier" gaming) and this.

That's when it hit me, "Mother of fuck," something I routinely say when I'm thinking to myself and need to have my mouth washed out with soap, "Video gaming is at its height. The economy is awful and we're celebrating a game based off of a half-decently rated parody of a campy summer blockbuster based off of a Hasbro toy line and 80's cartoon."

But then you have to take a step back for a second. The game is in 3-D. I don't think, short of the headache inducing VirtualBoy, that's ever been done before. And last time I checked, you could not make video games, let alone tie your shoes without using the bunny ear system (at least I know I can't); making games that can be played in 3-D? That's some kind of new-age wizardry that I can't even comprehend.

Then I thought about it even more... the Wii operates with 3-D controls. Yeah, you're playing on a 2-D realm based on a flat TV screen using some kind of avatar that sort of moves around in 3 dimensions but is still confined to 3-D. Then you have the new motion controls of Natal and whatever the PS3's equivalent of 3-D controls are (I can't be asked, as a video game news person, to keep up with this stuff). The screen pops out at you, but it's essentially no different than the 2-D imagery we're given through the simulated 3-D world in most modern gaming. Without physically controlling your game in that third dimension or operating in virtual reality, you're not really doing anything.

I'm currently trying to playtest for a Magic PTQ, so my ability to dig through mounds of dung are hampered a bit. If things don't pick up soon in the video game world, I'm going to start either jabbering endlessly about cool stuff that isn't timely or just start writing about other nerdy stuff that is. Also there'll be pictures. But no pictures for this post, I'm talking about G-Force. And that's terrible.