Spiderman THE MUSICAL

Living in the New York/metropolitan area, I'm lucky enough to have access to the greatest city on earth. But with great power, New York, you have a great responsibility. Then you go off and do this shit:

I don't think anything in life could have prepared me for that.

If I could make a list of the top 10 things I hate most, that clip would make up at least two, with the remaining eight slots reserved for every other song on the Playbill for Spiderman the Musical.

This play is going to be so terrible that it requires a Surgeon General's warning for eye and ear cancer stamped on every ticket.

Spiderman the Musical killed JFK.

Watching this show is the cause of every bad thing that has ever happened and also will ever happen throughout history.

If you buy a ticket for Spiderman the Musical in person, the ticket seller is, by law, required to punch you in the genitals.

Spiderman the Musical is definitive proof that Bono supports and has always supported terrorism.

If this video is not removed from YouTube by the time I finish this post, it means there is no God, because no just and loving God would allow such an abomination to continue an infinite virtual life where it can never die.

Watching this play erases hope from the universe and completes the Anti-Life Equation.

Hearing music from Spiderman the Musical singlehandedly murders my ability to chain together humorous anecdotes about how bad that play is going to be.

Okay, I'm done.

Edit: One more -- Spiderman the Musical broke my blog's frames and killed my wife.